"And I'm just a student of the game that they taught me"

In a conversation the other day about a new Linkin Park song, I couldn't help but recall a Clash song from my college days.
Later I spun the two together and think I got a glimpse of something kinda profound :)

In 1979's Guns of Brixton, The Clash sang,
"When they kick out your front door
How you gonna come?
With your hands on your head
Or on the trigger of your gun"


On A Thousand Suns, Linkin Park's latest cd,
in a song full of rhythm, clashing sounds and spiraling energy,
the lines,
"Oh when they come for me
Come for me
I'll be gone"
float along smooth and free,
contrasting nicely with the rest of the song,
and with Guns of Brixton.



Now I am not gonna sit here and say I know the songwriters' intentions or references; or try to propose that theses songs are related in anyway other than in  my head. My thoughts linking these songs are likely more a projection of who I am and where I am at this time in my life. However I don't think that makes my thoughts any less valid, so here they are.

When forced to choose, I want to come out fighting. And indeed I have done that pretty much lifelong. I fought and I lost. I tried and I came up short. I made it through but paid a high price. Life beat me down repeatedly. And each time I resolved that next time I would find a way to work harder, fight stronger, longer, on and on. Eventually somewhere around middle age, the Universe once again upped the ante on me and finally I had to fold.

Now days I am trying to go with the flow, unattached to the struggle, not grasping at any single outcome.

I've decided that life is like white water canoeing. Eventually you learn to respect the river. Frantic strokes in fast moving water rarely get you where you want to be. Sometimes less is more. A little rudder, a bit of draw, keep one eye open, breathe. Perhaps if I had paid a little more attention when I was younger and running those rapids, I could have applied this river-running philosophy to life in general, and saved myself years of trouble. Naw! that'd have been too easy.

When I was younger I was wearing blinders. I was sure and certain because of my limited view. I thought the only choice was 'which side are you on?'. I've come to learn however, that we often have more choices than we realize. Nothing is black and white. Seeing beyond the obvious is my new goal.

I like the Jungian concept of holding the tension of opposites. While it may look at first glance to be passive, it is not the same as coming to the door with your hands on your head and letting the police state take over. What can happen is that if you hold the tension long enough without choosing sides, if you just let things unfold, then most always a new previously unrecognized option/solution will present itself, making both the trigger-of-your-gun fight and the hands-on-your-head giving up unnecessary. When we engage and choose, we doom ourselves to endless alternating struggles, resulting in friction and pain.

I believe it is an art to be absent, to be formless, to wait in the open stillness, to follow our own path. We've the ever-present potential within us, it is always there - to not fight, not struggle, to not get caught in the good-bad right-wrong duality, to not let others define us.
The trick is it takes trust, courage and a little practice.

How you gonna come?........ is a deceptively simple question.
I'll be gone............................is an answer opening in to the limitless.